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The crowd was a mix of college guys and young professionals. And when the topic of my work came up, I told a small group of guys that I was working on an interesting article that required me to tap real-life guys for their opinions on dating single moms. It seems like baggage and I wouldn’t want to be involved in any baby-daddy drama.” “My mom was a single mom most of my childhood, so I have tons of respect for single mothers.I would absolutely go on a date with a single mom and see where it could lead.
It was lovely being out sans Jack, having a cold beer at the bar, surrounded by other adults enjoying drinks, conversation, and music. I videotaped their answers, transcribed what they said, and here’s what I got: “It’s not the ideal situation for me.Also, my friend’s ex had a kid that always wanted to sleep in his mom’s bed and that would be a problem for me. I want all the perks that come with a grown-up relationship.” “A lot of my friends are divorced and one guy even has a kid after a one-night stand. Here’s what to do: Your go/no-go window remains the third date, but the signals will be all new. My ex self-immolated when I joked about meeting his 6-year-old anytime before she was, say, old enough to drive. I treat my date’s offspring like feral, if adorable, animals—keeping my distance and letting them make the first move.Older kids could be uncomfortable thinking about mom as a dating, sexual being, according to psychologist Carl Pickhardt in "Adolescence and the Dating Parent," writing for "Psychology Today." If the relationship is leaning to a long-term commitment, you will meet the kids.It might start with an introduction as Mom’s friend and progress to activities that include her and the children if things move positively.
Take it slow with the kids and build a relationship based on friendship, not as a future stepparent.