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During and after college, I have maintained a diverse group of friends and have had the good fortune to travel to various places in Asia including a two year stint in Korea and Taiwan, as well as less extensive periods in Hong Kong, Japan, and mainland China.Moreover, I have dated both intra- and inter-racially (with Black women among others) and was most recently in a 3 year relationship with a Black American woman (who self-identified as such).Before I get to the heart of my response, perhaps I should preface it with a little information about myself.I am a 32 year old Korean American man who was adopted from South Korea when I was nine months old.
(Thus, I am skeptical that this problem would not be potentially encountered by Black American women dating Greek, Italian, or even Nigerian men whose parents were urging them to do one or both of the above.)Finally, there is the concern that Asian men may only be interested in Asian women/may not be attracted to Black women.
“Yellow peril” stereotype) and being very patriarchal, hardworking, and career-oriented, (all of which again in the Western context are coded as masculine).
Conversely, Black men are represented as being big, strong and well-endowed but also as lazy, and incapable of providing for the family.
Before getting into this, I will first state that I am in no way concerned with the Black women or Asian men who genuinely do not find each other sexually attractive for whatever reason.
In other words, I’m not trying to take on the job of convincing Black women to give Asian men a chance who would not want to already (or vice versa). (At the same time I do always find it peculiar when I hear people say that they “just don’t find ‘group x’ attractive.” Can’t help but think it is more complex than that but hey…that’s just me.) I think that the reason for this potential concern stems mainly from the ways in ways in which I feel we are largely represented within American media and (pop) culture.
There are of course exceptions I am sure but I would argue that no matter what, men have never been held to the same standard as women in regards to maintaining cultural/racial “purity” and may as a result have more power to decide whom they date and/or marry than a non-Asian dater may initially think.