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You'll only feel worse about yourself and the situation by repeated “interventions.” You are not to blame.
If you've been entrenched in an abusive relationship for a while, it can be crazy-making.
You start to feel like something must be wrong with you since this other person treats you so poorly.
Begin to acknowledge to yourself that it is NOT you.
This support system will help you feel less alone and isolated while you still contend with the abuser. You can't remain in an emotionally abusive relationship forever.
If finances or children or some other valid reason prevents you from leaving now, develop a plan for leaving as soon as possible.
Nothing is more damaging to your confidence and self-esteem than being in an emotionally abusive relationship.
Get away from the abusive person as often as possible, and spend time with those who love and support you.
She offers science-backed, proven techniques for real, quantifiable change.
EDITOR'S NOTE: He Said-She Said is a biweekly advice column for singles featuring a question from a reader with responses from a male and female point of view.
They didn't learn healthy coping mechanisms or how to have positive, healthy relationships.
Instead, they feel angry, hurt, fearful and powerless. They play the victim and try to deflect blame to you rather than taking personal responsibility. They disengage or use neglect or abandonment to punish or frighten you. They don't seem to notice or care about your feelings. They view you as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual. They withhold sex as a way to manipulate and control. They share personal information about you with others. They invalidate or deny their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted. They make subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you.
Here are some strategies for reclaiming your power and self-esteem for the short term: Put your own needs first.